Thursday, January 24, 2008

Is dating like religion?

Dating women is extremely complex. Women think one way. Men think another. They are polar opposites. Truly, it is hard to find the right girl. Essentially, women are sociologically defined. They want to be uniform with the situation. So, the way to set yourself apart is to be different. If you're in class, do something somewhat stupid to "get your name out there." People like stupid to a point. So, how to go about asking a girl out. Don't ask her, but don't tell her either, case in point. Suggestively, say "why don't we go out sometime?" or "I was wondering if we could go out sometime." Quite honestly, if she is not willing to get to know you, then I would move on. Instead, most people pursue that girl until the end of the world, which is demoralizing for the man. I have done this before, but I have realized how that can debase a man. In a sense, being yourself is the way to go to get girls attracted to you unless being yourself means being too obnoxious, rude, crude, demeaning, etc. Just remember: women want to date nice guys. They just need to think that you're still human, which if just by being human means you attract girls, then should not every guy have a girlfriend? I just left to bring a jacket to a friend of mine so I lost my train of thought. Yes, I actually did; however, the point I'd like to make from that to reiterate the theme of this post is this. By acting unique or simply saying what you think, you are way ahead of the game. I do not write this to say that I have women figured out. I am not sure that that is practically feasible. So, is it wise to ask a girl out without knowing her? If you do not mind getting multiple "no's" and some "yes's." Then that is perfectly ok. However, my advice would be to wait to get to know the girl. I have been known to ask out girls I do not know, but it tends to have a lower return rate, if you know what I mean as far as keeping the girl. So, it may be profitable to get to know the girl first off. 1. She feels more comfortable. 2. You know better if you would like to date her beyond looks. I suppose what it all comes down to is courage. I would say that by being courageous we validate ourselves because honestly everyone is searching. What would it be like if every girl you asked out said yes. Most everybody or everybody would say that that notion is unrealistic. Practically, it is; however, I am addressing increasing your odds, which is supported through this idealistic response to dating. If you think like someone who has a girlfriend, which would be someone who could date a lot of girls, then that is a step in the right direction. Psychologically, girls are flattered by being asked out. Moreover, they do not like being asked out. So, I guess the real question is. What does a girl look for in a boyfriend? Since we have established the relatively obvious notion of asking the girl or suggestively indicating, the next philosophy is more personal. If your figure is large, then that does not necessarily mean you can not get a date. Women are more attracted to certain body types, naturally. If you are muscular, then yes, you are a more keen object of attraction obviously. So strive to be fit unless there are some women who just like guys with big builds. It is certainly possible. I leave some things to chance. Regarding most guys with a typical build, we should address what other guys do who date "all the girls." What exactly is it that they do?
Is it that much different? Truly, it is not that different. So, logically, "Why don't I have a girlfriend?" The reasons are attributed primarily to situational ethics, circumstances, and preference. What does all that mean? The guys who get all the girls are not that much different, but they are very different. From my experience, girls will date most any guy given the right variables. I am suggesting that life is construed around singular tendencies like altering the structural flow due to a seemingly insignificant variable. Furthermore, what is that specific secret? I will not even charge a bunch of money for this opinion. Be creative. Does it not make sense? I have not statistically analyzed this statement; however, I am tempted to. Nonetheless, your imagination is the key to relationship success. At the same time, opinionated guys will come across as self-seeking. I am one of those guys. Inherently, that is not helpful. Subsequently, it helps the overall prejudicial view from women that a particular man would be a pushover is she were to date him. I am talking the real world here. You will be forgotten without being different to her. That is the cold, hard truth. Believe it or not. I am not trying to sound egotistical, like I have all the girls because I do not. I am actually single at the moment, and I would prefer to be dating, but I am in the process of dating more women. I do this by being focused on the goal. I tend not to walk up to girls and ask them out anymore though I do encourage that if you have never really dated before because even if you get rejected, it becomes much easier with time. Instead, I get to know the girl, and then I ask her out informally but passionately. What do I say? Actually, it is all circumstantial, but let me give you an example. "It's just my opinion, but I think we should go out sometime." Everybody is different, and that is what characterizes us. However, this are some of my reflections. Take it for what it is worth. Just do not be that guy who girls would date but do not date because the implications of asking a girl out are too difficult/burdensome. Essentially, you will succeed through perseverance unless you do not have a face at all or head.

1 comment:

Dale said...

Derek, good thoughts on dating. Yes, it takes courage to ask someone out on a date because there is the fear of rejection. I think it is important in a new relationship to go slowly and to be yourself.